The Grief We Don't Always Call Grief

with Anna Anisin and Sammy

We usually associate grief with death. But what about the end of a marriage? The loss of a pet? A friendship that disappears? A home you leave behind? The future you were certain you were going to have? Or even the version of yourself who existed before everything changed?

In this deeply personal episode of I Want Her Shoes, Sammy returns to the closet for an honest conversation with Anna about the grief we experience and the losses we don't always give ourselves permission to grieve.

Anna opens up about losing her grandmother, losing her beloved pets Bonnie and Ozzie only months apart, and grieving the end of her marriage while navigating divorce.

Together, Anna and Sammy explore the particularly complicated experience of grieving something that you can simultaneously know was right to lose. You can mourn a marriage without wanting the marriage back. You can miss pieces of a former life while still choosing the life ahead of you. And sometimes what you're grieving isn't only a person or relationship, it's the future you once imagined.

They also talk about the strange everyday reality of loss: how life keeps moving even when you're grieving. Kids still need breakfast. Meetings still happen. Emails still arrive. You can laugh, work, go to dinner, experience something wonderful, and still be carrying sadness alongside it.

The conversation moves through losing animals and why pet grief can be so profound, motherhood and the pressure to keep functioning, the discomfort people sometimes have around another person's pain, and what actually helps when someone we love is grieving.

And ultimately, they arrive at a bigger question: Does grief ever really disappear, or does life simply become bigger around it?

👠 Key Moments

• The many losses we experience that we don't always recognize as grief
• Grieving someone or something that is still technically there
• Mourning a marriage while knowing that ending it was the right decision
• Anna on losing her grandmother and the things we still wish we could say
• Losing Bonnie and Ozzie and why the death of a pet can leave such an enormous absence
• How motherhood and responsibility coexist with grief
• Why grief and growth can happen at the same time
• What actually helps when someone you love is grieving

Perhaps healing isn't reaching a point where the loss no longer hurts.

Maybe it's learning how to carry what mattered without allowing the loss to become the only thing we carry. There can be grief and gratitude. Grief and relief. Grief and joy.

And even grief and the beginning of a beautiful new chapter. Moving forward doesn't necessarily mean leaving everything behind. Sometimes it means deciding what deserves to come with us.

Watch the full episode on YouTube: Episode 88 on YouTube.

Connect

• Explore I Want Her Shoes Club: iwanthershoes.com/community
• I Want Her Shoes Podcast on Instagram: @iwanthershoespodcast
• Anna on Instagram: @iwanthershoes
• Sammy on Instagram: @sammidawgs