Resetting Life and Style: A Conversation with Florence Schaefer

In this episode of I Want Her Shoes, Anna spoke with Florence Schaefer, an innovation strategist, global tech executive, and co-founder of Becoming, a human performance concierge. 

Their discussion explored upbringing, career transitions, a stage-4 cancer diagnosis reframed as a reset, and how choices in technology, clothing, and place influence life and work.

Early Foundations

Florence grew up in California with a South Korean mother and South Dakotan father, traveling frequently to both Korea and South Dakota. These contrasting value systems shaped her outlook. As she put it, “I just had this perspective that there’s no one right way to live or right way to think”. She later described herself as a third-culture kid, reflecting the combination of different cultural influences.

Although she had planned to study international relations and mathematics at UC Berkeley, Florence changed course after attending a pre-freshman orientation at Harvey Mudd College. She chose engineering, influenced by professors who noticed her unusual focus: “I was always thinking about who’s going to use it, how are they going to feel when they use it”. This human-centered approach became a throughline in her work.

Career Across Industries

Florence has held executive positions in luxury fashion, beauty, automotive, and healthcare. The connecting thread, she explained, is transformation: designing systems at the intersection of technology and human behavior so that experiences can shift how people live and work.

A Diagnosis as Reset

A stage-4 cancer diagnosis, despite a health-oriented lifestyle and no family history, became a turning point. She explained the experience as “liberating” and said she felt “an immediate almost surrender and faith… whatever is going to happen is exactly what’s meant to happen”.

She used a car metaphor to describe the shift: “The stage four cancer is like my wheels fell off… I was supposed to stop driving the car”. The diagnosis revealed that constant optimization and pushing through warning signs were no longer effective strategies. Listening to intuition became central.

Becoming and the Life Reset Protocol

Florence co-founded Becoming, where the Life Reset Protocol helps people pause and reconsider foundational questions: “It’s really about slowing down and finding this space… asking yourself… ‘Who am I?’… ‘How do I want to live?’”.

She highlighted research indicating that “95% of our decisions are made by our unconscious”. By surfacing and rewiring unhelpful patterns, people can reduce friction in life. The goal is not to add more practices but to identify unconscious habits that “are almost sabotaging you… If we can go to the root and figure out what those are, we can just rewire one or two things”.

Technology as Tool

Technology was framed as neutral: “Technology is a tool… it’s not inherently good or bad… Start from clarity: how can technology amplify my life?”. Many coping behaviors, such as compulsive phone checking, arise from stress. Instead of treating emotions as problems, she suggested recognizing that “our emotions are just meant to be there as signals”.

She cautioned against extreme measures like digital detoxes: “Any sort of extreme reaction just kind of flips you to the other side… It’s almost the shadow side of the same challenge”.

Clothing, Breathing, and Regulation

Personal style also intersects with wellbeing. Florence stopped wearing clothing that pinches the waist after discovering its impact on breathing. “Your diaphragm was stuck… you’ve literally been breathing through your chest versus your belly… that creates anxiety and fight-or-flight”. She now prioritizes fabrics and fits that allow her to breathe freely and remain comfortable.

Even posture and gaze matter. “Looking below your horizon… lowers your mood… sometimes we have to look up”. Small adjustments, such as breathable fabrics or shifting how one holds a phone, can affect daily regulation.

Florence described identity as dynamic and shaped by context: “Your identity is not fixed… in an environment your identity shifts without you even realizing”. Living in Hong Kong, she became known primarily for her height, while Miami offers a different atmosphere. She sees Miami as a space where people can express themselves without judgment, a restorative contrast to other global cities.

Practical Habits

Frequent travel led Florence to develop systematic packing strategies. “I pack on color themes… everything in there has to have multiple purposes”. She favors footwear that is stylish yet comfortable and stable, suitable even for long flights or trade shows.

Reflecting on what it means to “walk boldly,” Florence said: “It’s really about just being present… if you think too much in the future then you become anxious… if you’re too much in the past… So the more present I am… everything really just flows”.

Her closing note reinforces a central theme of the conversation: transformation comes not from adding more, but from becoming more aligned with presence, intuition, and intentional choices.